ImagineTheEnding.net

Over all, the con was a huge shock. I am still in a bit of a daze since I sold out of VACANT issue 1 in 2 days. I was absolutely not prepared for this, so the second day I just laid around the booth. Literally. Greatly flattered, I now realize I simply can’t complain about any unfairness towards my work. No matter how bad I think I may have created something, I simply can’t doubt myself to the degree I do. MoCCa has taught me that self hate is senseless, and doesn’t do favors. If I had confidence, not only would I have copies for day three but I could have promoted it more. For SPX (Coming up in September) I will keep this in mind. From now on I will be taking myself more seriously.

New copies are going to be ordered soon for those who want a copy. If you order the comic you get a mini comic with it called Outakes. You can’t read it any other way since I will not have it online. I’ll also sign it if you want.

Here are some people we met at the con (Sorry if you’re not on here. I may have misplaced your business card):

Travis Holyfield (Writer): http://travismholyfield.blogspot.com/

www.lesthugs.com

http://cowhatninja.com/

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Some character designs I created for Donato’s Science Fiction class.

One of my illustrations is actually on the box there. It’s the red balloon on the far right. I never did post them online, so I guess this is a better time than any.

Lord have I been terrible at updating this or what? Going through a rough part of my life, so I apologize about the lack of activity.

This is the cover for Issue 2, maybe. Did it for one of my classes. After my teachers critique it, it’ll probably be changed. After this I hope to post more Vacant illustrations I have in store along with pages. The only reason as to why I may not post pages is because I would like it to be published at some point (BAHAHAHAHAHA…yeah right). We’ll see.

Threadless shirt idea. It came out kind of dark, so when I make a new design, I may not do black and white again. The shirt came out decently, I don’t really do a lot of this kind of thing a lot, so it takes some getting used to. I thought of this idea because school is coming up and everyone should be buying school supplies. Every time it gets to that part of the year, I know it’s a dooming feeling for those who are still in high school or lower. Like you’re going to jail.

Go here to vote: http://www.threadless.com/submission/364495/BACK_TO_SCHOOL_Detention/showmore,designs

“You’ve dropped the enemy intelligence!”

I think I am the only one who has guts to post this, but whateveh. I don’t really care. This was actually because of a competition between James (BluHue), Michelle (OracularDream) and me. The reason was pretty much that we were looking at TF2 fan art, and figured this concept was challenging enough to present our artistic creativity.

I won surprisingly. I swore Michelle was going to win, but I must admit, I am pretty awesome.

So, anyway, I was going to put on my serious glasses for a moment and kind of talk about yaoi images and what I think of them. First of all, I’d like to admit I don’t disapprove of yaoi pictures nor do I judge people who draw them. In all seriousness, you should be able to draw whatever you want and do whatever you want without giving a damn. In fact, people should be envious of those who do post strange art, because the ones that feel so self-conscious about what they really feel suffer their own consequences. Because somewhere in you is a weird person. Especially sense you’re an artist.

But what do I think? Regardless of popular bias, I find that drawing yaoi, or more specifically gay art has a very unique ability to it that straight art does that. This does not have to do with the idea that a female/female and male/male ‘s chemical balance is difference or that two dicks in the same image is more powerful than one, but because of social standards. A female and a male in a relationship have roles in today’s society, and no matter how much we want to defy these roles they are there. Why? Because we have been taught these things since we wee little ones. Girls wear dresses. Men wear suits. Now-a-days however, those genders are starting to even out, but you’d be surprised about how much garbage fills your head about what you’re supposed to think in a relationship.

However in gay images these things to not imply. The roles become completely equal, and the two individuals are people. Not a man. Not a woman. But two people in a relationship. Both are equally strong and both have a personality. I know that seems funny that I say this because I just drew a very dominatrix image, but the image is meant for humor, so let me slide on that. I just find that through writing gay stories and being bi myself, that a sense of pressure is released, ignoring political bias and “Nah-sayers”. I guess I say that because I honestly don’t care if my parents found out I was bi and disowned me. I don’t want my sexuality to be accepted or rejected. You don’t know me or own me. I do.

However, I can’t change the chick flicks and sitcoms that’s plagued my mind, and sometimes reading same sex romances or looking at them is pleasant. Because you know somehow they really love each other. And I mean this for gay art, not necessarily yaoi, because let’s face it, people draw yaoi pictures because it’s hot.  Nothing wrong with that either.

And now the serious glasses come off, so I can enjoy Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

(A quickie before you read…half the images stopped working on my website. Whenever I stop being lazy, I’ll fix it)

So I have been debating making this blog for a long time. For multiple reasons. 1. I don’t think people actually read my blogs. I just ramble to myself and keep it as an emo journal (Nothing personal) and 2. I think its egotistical.

Doesn’t make sense I know but that’s my brain.

Anyway, so, I made a journal posts about how I wanted to kind of quit comics. Didn’t think I’d get much of a reaction, but I always fail to realize I do matter more than I let off. Especially to my friends and a few readers. I guess I feel like maybe there needs to be more of an explanation. Perhaps to me. Perhaps to you. Perhaps to…I dunno. It’s not really your business anyway. BUT NONETHELESS!

The reason as to why I made the journal is because one day I sat on my bed, pulled a drawing pad out and realized, like the sun is bright, that I really hated drawing comics. Or in general. I dreaded it. It was less fun and more like stuffing envelopes all day (a friend knows what I am talking about). And I thought, well, and then maybe I shouldn’t be doing this? I mean I’m not going to make any money. I am supposed to do this because I loved it, not because I had to.

And the exact reasons that led up to this thought just pile up. I give a big thanks to a few dicks in the business who wanted to see me out. That and the heavy competition and the ugly ugly side of the art world. When you start off you don’t see it, but when you start to seep in, it really shows like rotting flesh. It stinks, and after a while that’s all you smell. How you’re not good enough. How you need to work harder. Blah blah blah. Granted, a part of that is all my fault and not anyone else’s.

Besides all of the piles and piles of crap that call themselves the cartoonist of the new age (or old), there are a lot of charming people in the business that let me remember the original reason why I liked it. People like Ross Campbell, Aaron Alexovich, Drew Rausch, and Steve Emond. Really good artists that just want to entertain the audience they have. I remember going to SDCC was a whole hell of a lot of fun thanks to poking fun at Jhonen Vasquez and Jenny Goldberg. Then giving unsuspected artists fan art and buying their art to put on my wall.

What happened to that all? What happened to dreams and goals? What happened to the little girl who wanted to change the world? What am I now? Just another adult who worries about paying the bills? You know something wrong when you’re art world is rotting.

A little advice to arts that are trying to get in. Don’t forget stories behind butterflies, and that dreams are not dreams– They are whatever they want them to be and that means the world.